Hero Worship or Bible Steeped?

Have you heard the saying, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Google many sports figures and celebrities and you will probably find a story about a regular person meeting someone famous and coming away not impressed. So many people seem amazing from afar but the more you know about them, the more you realize they have feet of clay. It’s hard to know what people are actually like.

We also see this in politics. We choose a candidate who looks like a savior, someone to make a difference the way we want, and suddenly they fall short. They turn sides and take bribes and disappoint us.

You might think that this wouldn’t apply to Christians. However, with people following authors, pastors, and Christian influencers, we can easily get caught up in the wrong thing and focused on the wrong person.

We don’t like to think that by following everything a certain person says or by believing he/she can do no wrong equals hero worship, but that is essentially what it is. We are propping people up on a pedestal and basing what we believe on what they say. We feel the need to defend them to others because some of our identity is wrapped up in how people perceive them. If someone has a problem with my person of interest, they must have a problem with me too!

I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a favorite author or to learn from a popular Bible teacher. I hope you respect your pastor and church leaders. I have podcasts, books, and people that have definitely helped me in my Christian walk and taught me things that are valuable and biblical. But I always have to remember a few things, no matter how I’m gleaning wisdom from others.

• Everyone is a sinner and therefore capable of getting something wrong.

• Only God is omniscient (all knowing).

• I am capable of responding in a sinful way.

• I only know one side {usually my person’s side} of the story but there are two perspectives in every incident.

By reminding myself of these truths, it helps me keep men (or women) in the correct place and God in his much deserved place.

I don’t log in to Twitter often because it’s too overwhelming for me. But I have the people I follow grouped into lists so I can choose to only read updates from authors or Christian leaders or Princess of Wales fashion posts. Unfortunately, the times I’ve logged in to Christian Tweeters I follow, there’s usually some disagreement or conflict going on. A popular Christian has been involved in a scandal or said something contradictory in a new book. Or someone just decides to go after someone else. It’s a messy place.

But the problem doesn’t stop there. Sometimes the person in question jumps on social media to defend his/her position. Sometimes it’s gracious, oftentimes not. Then their followers will lash out with name calling, Bible misquoting tweets to defend the honor of their favored influencer. And the mess just gets messier.

This exulting in people rather than God is contrary to the examples in the Bible. Think of Joseph in Genesis 40-41. Before he tells the two prisoners and Pharaoh what their dreams mean, he makes sure to mention it is God, not him, who can interpret dreams and should get the credit. Think of David in I Samuel 17 as he boldly goes against Goliath. He declares several times that God will deliver him from this Philistine. In another event concerning dreams, Daniel gives God the credit for showing Nebuchadnezzar’s dream meaning to him in Daniel 2. In fact Daniel points out that no one except God can do this (Dan. 2:27-28).

We also see New Testament examples of doing things for God’s glory, not man’s attention. In this, we see that God should be preeminent in everything. In everything we do and, therefore, in how we treat and emulate others. If we are respecting the words and teachings of a person — no matter how well educated or intentioned —- over the words and teachings of the Bible, we need to recognize the hero worship in this and follow God above all else.

I’ve recently seen someone post, “If this {supposedly bad thing} happens to so-and-so {read Christian teacher who is important to her}, my faith in God’s justice will be broken.” Really?! Your faith in the Creator of the Universe rests on how your favorite Bible speaker is treated, talked about, etc.? What a sad place to be in! To have your very faith in the power of Who God is hinging on a mere mortal who I guarantee is sinful and will make mistakes. We must be careful, even as we learn and grow from the teachings and writings of others that their words, actions, and personalities are NEVER a substitute for the actual Bible.

If I get too caught up in the unfairness, the injustice, the criticism, it might hurt my testimony with others. Christians shouldn’t be backbiters. Even if we don’t like an outcome or what we see as unjust commentary, we need to watch our mouths and monitor our hearts.

Consider this small sample of verses from Proverbs:

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. {Prov. 10:11-12}

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {Prov. 15:1-4}

And so my challenge to you is this: consider those in your life who have impact and influence. Do you accept everything they say without reading or studying for yourself? Do you only believe their version of events and criticize any who speak against them? Do you assume if so-and-so said it, it must be true? Do you find yourself getting into arguments defending the honor or insight of a certain person?

None of us are able to walk through this life without making mistakes. We will say the wrong thing, be swayed by popular teaching, respond sinfully to situations. But if we spend more time reading and studying God’s Word than we spend hearing from the popular voices of today — however wise they may sound — we will have a better foundation to respond biblically and know God’s teaching on certain matters. In a society of ever-changing opinions and “truths,” I’m thankful for the unchanging God we can trust Who has given us unchanging truth to live by.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Good, Better, Best

One of the joys of being a homeschooling mom is that I get to teach my kids about many different things.

The hard thing about being a homeschooling mom is that I have to teach my kids about many different things.

Do those seem at odds? Let me explain. I don’t just get to teach the fun things that I love and find interesting. Things like literature, history, geography, and art are all really fascinating and, I think, fun to teach. But then I also have those other subjects. Things like math and science and grammar that just aren’t…fun. And because they don’t appeal to me, I don’t always enjoy the process of laying out the facts behind these subjects.

But what! You might be asking, “How can a person who loves reading and writing not like grammar?! Aren’t those related?” Well, here’s the thing. Because I’ve been reading and writing for so long and have loved to for so long, the grammar is kind of lost on me. I don’t think about the rules or parts of speech or the technical terms of what I’m doing. I just use the language and it makes sense to me. It sounds right.

So when I’m faced with explaining to my children how to diagram a sentence, what the different phrases in a sentence are, singular vs plural rules, and tenses…it just doesn’t excite me. I find it monotonous and it’s really hard for me to not just say, “Can’t you hear why that’s not right?” to my second grader who’s never heard a word labeled as a direct object before.

I know a lot of people have issue with the weirdness of the English language {been there} and one of the harder things to teach and get is when a word doesn’t follow the rules. My son and I were talking about adding an -er or -est to a word {like fast, faster, fastest} to help us describe something more clearly when he — totally believing he had caught on and was about to impress me — said, “Like good, gooder, goodest!” To which I took a deep breath, prepared myself, and said, “Nope. Some words, like ‘good’ have their own rules.” His eye roll and frustration were completely understood.

That launched us into a conversation on good, better, and best and why it gets special attention. Then we practiced using each word correctly {He is good at math but she is better at spelling}. And it got me thinking about the good, better, and best situations in our lives.

Sometimes in practical living it’s difficult to distinguish between what is good and better. We want to believe that the opportunities we choose are the best options for us. The things that we want to do, the choices that offer the biggest paybacks or results or growth. We want to be people that choose the best for us and our families.

Often the problem comes when we have to stop doing something good in order to do something better. If you’re like me, you think, “I can just cram this other thing into my life because it’s a good choice but I don’t want to give up anything I’m currently doing…because those are all good things too!” But then all the running around to all the “good” things wears us out. We become short and temperamental with our families because we’re tired. We don’t fully enjoy the things we’re doing because we always have one foot out the door to “get to the next thing.” We moan over our busyness but we don’t want to give anything up. “It’s all good,” we tell ourselves.

But sooner or later, something will break. Something will have to be given up, no matter how “good” it is. And sadly, as a pastor’s wife I’ve often seen church as one of the first “good” things to go. People have offered reasons like “Our family just needs a day to ourselves” “We’ll be back when schedules slow down” “We want to be there but we’re so busy” and on they go. What breaks my heart in these excuses is that people are choosing to give up the best thing for their family {being in a church community, learning about God together} for a good thing.

These “good things” vary but when I talk with people, it usually comes down to prioritizing other things and getting so tired they need a free day and that becomes Sunday. Because it’s easier to not come to church on Sunday than miss a soccer game on Saturday. You see, extra curricular things for your kids aren’t bad. Those can be good things that teach valuable lessons. But when you choose to spend so much time on those that your family is too tired to come to church, the “good” activities have replaced a better option {i.e. church}.

Now I know vacations, sickness, unforeseen circumstances happen and keep us from meeting on Sundays. Even as a pastor’s family, we miss services on occasion. But when we get into the habit of making Sunday our “free day” and we do all the good things through the week, thinking we can always regroup on Sunday if it’s too much, we need to seriously reevaluate what we consider good, better, and best in our lives.

And this isn’t just about church. Think how easily we can push daily Bible reading and prayer out because “We have to get to work, take the kids to school, get homeschool done, have coffee with that friend, tackle those chores, make dinner, get everyone to their after school activities…” Now when we read this list, these things aren’t bad. Most of them are necessary {work, food, education, etc.} but when the list takes the place of spending time in God’s Word, we need to think about our priorities and how things can be rearranged to give more time for the best thing.

It’s difficult to stop doing something “good” in pursuit of something “better.” Sometimes it feels like we failed or gave up. But the truth is we can’t do everything and our culture is constantly bombarding us with possibilities. Sometimes certain seasons of life mean we can’t do all the good things we want. But that season will pass and we can say yes to other things.

As nice as it would be, there are no hard and fast rules for what is “good, better, and best” in our lives. Choosing the best requires us to take an honest look at our lives continually. What is good today might need to be replaced by something better next week. But, unlike pesky grammar rules, I can guarantee that choosing God over whatever the world throws our way will ALWAYS be the best choice. Reading your Bible, praying, being in a church family should never be cut out to make room for something better. Because that “something better” will not be worth it.

Photo by Patrick Bald on Unsplash

Friendship for Others

As a society, we've come up with labels for everything. Personality traits, groups, clubs, hobbies. In a few words we can sum up for people 'who we are,' or at least we try to. 

One label I've struggled with for myself is introvert vs extrovert. As a child, I would have said extrovert. I loved people, friends, going places. But as I got older and some circumstances in my life changed, I found myself more driven to be alone. I still liked being with friends but I also craved quiet moments to myself. 

Being a mother only amplified my need to be alone. But I found when I would get a day or weekend to myself, I missed the questions, laughter, and needs of my children. And if I go without spending time with friends, I crave time with them. 

I love people. But sometimes I really want to be alone. 

Quarantine taught me a lot. Namely that I need people but also that people need me. 

Now before you label me as a narcissist, I don't say people need me to build myself up. But rather as a reminder that the relationships we have aren't just about us and our needs. 

I found during quarantine that I would think of a friend and shoot a quick text, something like 'Thinking of you today.' And I would get a lengthy reply about how they needed prayer, how they were struggling and thankful I had reached out. Over Zoom and text and messenger, I was reminded of the importance of community and the effect we can have on others, even if we aren't needing it in the same way. 

God reminds us continuously in the Bible that we need other people, specifically other Christians. We build each other up, hold each other accountable, encourage and teach each other. We are commanded to gather together. Christians are not supposed to be islands, standing alone against the odds. We need others and they need us. 

I Corinthians 12:12-26 tells us that we are like members of a body. We can't all be eyes or who would hear? If we were all feet, how would we breathe? We all have gifts and talents that are most effective when paired with others abilities. And usually we have to be with people to work together most effectively.

Sometimes it's hard for me to go to events. Meeting, talking, being with others instead of reading in front of the fire is not always the easy choice to make. But whenever I go, I don't regret it. I might come back to the house depleted of mental energy but I'm always encouraged in the Lord. It might not be my first choice, but it's a good choice, a necessary choice. 

Back to my original conundrum: I love people and going new places. I also have to talk myself into planning something that will get me out of the house. So, am I an introvert or an extrovert? It depends on the day. I won't label myself as either exclusively. Although it's hard to beat a book and hot tea.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Who Do You Pray For?

The last month has taught me something important: there is always something or someone I can pray for.

With social distance meaning I can’t meet with friends and ladies from church, I’ve resorted — like so many others — to keeping in touch electronically. Texting, Zoom meetings, Marco Polo, email, Facetime, and Messenger have all become part of my daily, regular schedule. Even my children have been catching up with friends and family and doing piano lessons online. It’s strange but I’m thankful we have the option and availability to check in and catch up, even while staying home.

Without fail, as I chat with others, I ask how they are doing and what I can pray for. Those are questions that should be part of our regular dialogue with friends and family but somehow, in the midst of parties, fellowships, playdates, and gatherings, those are often the questions left unsaid while we instead talk about the movies we’ve seen, the deals we’ve found, the crazy lives we lead. And usually when we do ask friends how they are, we anticipate the standard, “I’m fine,” or “Doing great” and we’re happy to leave it at face value and not pry too much.

But there’s something about not being face to face that makes me crave real connection. Not that other interactions are pointless but there’s only so much you can talk about when people haven’t left their houses in a month!! And after every text, every message, I stop and pray for that person, for whatever peace or strength or grace they need.

And I didn’t always do that. I was usually running somewhere or sending a brief message between household tasks. And, I thought, “I’ll catch up with them on Sunday.” But during the last month, those Sundays and Bible studies and Awana nights haven’t happened and to stay in touch with friends, I’ve had to get creative. With short communications the only way to connect with people and with the stay at home orders cancelling any and all reasons I have to leave the house, I’ve found myself thinking about my friends more and praying for them.

One of the great realities in this quarantine is that some of my struggles are probably similar to what my friends and family are struggling with. Feeling boxed in? Fear/anxiety of the unknown? Frustration over cancelled plans? Weary of kids complaining? Craving a few minutes to myself? Yep, as I chat with my friends, these are very real hardships for all of us. So where before someone would come to mind and I’d think, “I don’t know what she needs, I’ll ask her on Sunday,” now I think, “She’s at home with her kids, she’s unable to follow her regular routine, she’s trying to figure out working from home…I think I know what to pray for.”

You see, before it was almost like I was afraid of ‘wasting’ a prayer on someone who might not need it. Which is a crazy idea!! God knows what every individual needs, even if I don’t, and He will meet those needs, even if I don’t know what to specifically pray about. My part is to faithfully, humbly come before Him and bring my praise and requests. Even if it’s the simple, “Be with her today.”

I’ve also realized during this month that there are people I should be praying for regularly that somehow slip by my mind unless I know a certain request they’ve mentioned to me. Have you ever noticed it’s easy to consistently pray for the same things and people? Almost like you put your prayer life on auto pilot. But quarantine has brought so many people to mind that I realize I don’t always pray for or maybe I do sporadically.

To help myself, I made a list to keep by my Bible and I’ve also restarted the practice of praying through our church directory. Below is a printable of people — general, not specific — I’ve been burdened and reminded to keep in my prayers. If you would benefit from such a list, please feel free to download and print it. I also wrote a few things you might pray for under each group, just in case you don’t know where to start. Pray these things for others and yourself.

One of my constant prayers through all this is that we would come out the other side of quarantine grateful, thankful, loving, compassionate people.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

The Necessity of Fellowship

Have you ever found Sunday the most difficult morning to get out of bed? As a family, we try to make Saturday nights low key and laid back so we can prepare for the next day. But somehow, even if everyone goes to bed early and sleeps well, the Sunday wake up call is hard to get up for. And in the midst of school, work, sports, busy schedules from all sides, the temptation to sleep in and miss church is a struggle.

“I’ll listen to a sermon podcast,” we say, “I’ll make it next week.”

But the truth is there will always be a reason or an excuse to miss fellowship with God’s people. And when we make a habit of it, we are missing out in several ways.

Full disclaimer: I am not just saying this as a pastor's wife.

The truth is the church is important not just because of what we learn from God's Word but because of the interactions we have with other believers. Part of what we gain by going to church is encouragement from other people. We also have the opportunity to be a blessing to others that would not have happened if we had stayed in our homes and listened to sermons online.

In all honesty there have been some Sundays where I have not felt like getting out of bed and going to church. I didn't force myself to church because I am a pastor's wife. I went because I realized I needed to go, maybe even more so on the days I didn't feel like it. We have six days a week that bombard us with the things of the world. Even if we spend time everyday in the Bible, in prayer, and utilizing resources online in the form of podcasts, sermons, etc, there is no substitute for gathering together with like-minded believers and building one another up in Christ.

When I hear people say they don't need a local church because they listen to ‘XYZ pastor,’ I'm sad for them and what they are missing out on by not having a regular group of people they can worship with. They often make the argument that they can worship anywhere and they choose to worship in their own homes, on their own terms. And while there is a time for us to worship in solitude, it should not be the norm if we wish to truly grow spiritually and seek to help others.

There is a time and a place for the benefits technology can give us. Those that physically are not able to leave their homes and participate in a local church are able to listen to podcasts and sermons and grow spiritually through them. But no matter how great the preacher or how wonderful the message, we should not allow these online moments to be our only interaction with fellow believers.

First Corinthians speaks of the church being like a body (I Corinthians 12:12-31). Each member has a specific talent and ability that cannot fully be used in isolation. The writer of the book of Hebrews instructs us to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Hebrews 10:25). Paul mentions often in his epistles that we are to be building each other up (I Thessalonians 5:14), forgiving others (Colossians 3:13), rejoicing with and encouraging those around us (Ephesians 4:15-16; Colossians 3:13).

The idea that we can get everything we need spiritually from an online sermon is selfish. We are promoting the convenience of staying home instead of getting out, going to church, and seeing how we can minister to those around us.

We should also remember that the Christian life is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. From Christ’s own example we see the importance of discipling others and, starting from the early church, we see the importance of gathering together. Think of the joy and unity we see in the church in Acts. For them gathering together was making a statement of who they were identifying with. In some cases it would have even been dangerous to be associated with Christians. But they craved the times together when they could leave worldly influences and come together in the bond of Christ. The same is true of the persecuted church throughout the world today. There are some who are willing to risk imprisonment, torture, or death because of the joy that comes from being with other Christians and worshipping our Lord.

Remember that we are in a spiritual battle. Satan must be delighted when we become Our Own Worst Enemy and choose to fight individually instead of coming together and fighting with other Christians. I've said jokingly to some that Satan must work overtime on Sunday mornings because that is the day the children want to sleep in, the day I am most tired, and the day 100 things seem to happen to keep me from fellowshipping with other believers.

God wants us to grow closer to him and part of this is done by rubbing shoulders with other believers who can help us, encourage us, and who we can turn around and invest ourselves in. There is a true beauty and joy that can only be experienced when we come together, gathering in unity to worship our Lord.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash